My beautiful son, Joshua~ I want you to know that once all of this treatment is behind me, I look forward to the life that I promised you when you were still a growing child inside me. I had so many dreams and wishes for what our lives would be once your daddy and I welcomed you to this world. I left my job so that I could be a full-time mommy, but instead, 13 days after you arrived, the doctors told me that I had cancer. Chemo, surgery, and radiation came and now are gone. I still have some healing to do physically and emotionally but together I hope to have the life that I promised you.

Some things are now behind us and even though cancer will always be a part of my life, it soon won't keep me from doing all that I dreamed of doing with you. I want to swing on the swings in the park, hang out and meet other mommies with babies your age so that you can interact with other children instead of being holed up in the house with mommy every day. I want to swim in the Summer and throw snowballs next Winter. I want to watch the leaves change in the Fall, and the flowers bloom once again next Spring. I want to enjoy the zoo so we can learn about the animals and plants together. I want to see the world from your eyes so that we can both start from the beginning as if we have never laid our eyes on any of it before.

Soon we will have the life, I promise. And when we do, watch out world! Here we come!